The final chapter ... part 2

the next night i was about to sleep

crying

mom dkhalat 3aley

she came and hugged me

mom: sadan 7bebty

i hugged her so tight

me: yuma adre eny 6e7t men 3ainch w adre eny swait shay ghala6 walla adre t7saft bs shasawey wala magdrt yuma a7b shamlan w matwq3t byoum ena ra7 ymot

mom: shkentay 7a6a ib-balich

me: glt btzwj shamlan w happy ending

mom: sadan mu kelshay t7lmen feh y9er hathy el7yah t9dmna bashya'a mantwq3 t9er w wayed 9dmteny 3umre matwq3t ench btklmen knt wathqa fech w 7sbtch gad eltheqa mag9rna 3alech bshay bs shaswe magdr aswelich shay entay menhara


i started crying


my mom kissed my forehead and told me

mom: sadan yala namay

me: okay t9b7en 3ala khair

mom: wentay men ahlah

i started talking to my self saying:

" i wish i didn't know him"

"lish ga3d y9er feny chthy?"

"a7bah walla i do"

"im dying ... i wish mat3lgt feh hal kethr"

till i fell asleep




the next day i woke-up finding leens on my bed playing with my ipad

me:leenaah? 

leens: good morning

i smiled

me: sa3a cham?

leens: 10 , yala gomay ghaslay ahalich yn6ronch 3shan ntryg

me: okay


i went to the bathroom washed my face
then nzalt t7t with leens


i didn't eat anything just drank my orange juice

dad: sadan 7bebty lazem taklen mu zain 3alich

me: yuba mu yu3ana kelish male khelg shay

dad: 3ayal mentay ray7a elzwara elyoum

me: la

faisal: sadon mnu hathy rfejtich awal mara asm3 feha

me: mat3rfha

faisal: mentay ray7a 3zaha?

me: inshallah

faisal: men benta?

me: uf shfek tsa'al wayed khala9 3ad

faisal; glna rfejtich matat bs latnfsen 3alena bs sa'altich

me: way3 waay3

i went to my room
 and
leenah followed me


ma abe a7d y7acheny jad male khlg shay


i was so close with shamlan he was everything to me
losing person i cant spend a day without
isn't easy to forget , it was so hard to me
i don't think fe shay by9dmny akthr men motat shamlan

he promised me to teach me how to drive a car..

now hes gone.

i told leens to sleep at my house hal ayam to get better


when i was in the room with leenah

someone called me

leens picked it up

leens: alo?

someone: alo wen sadan?

leens; kahy mnu agolha

someone: her cousin jara7

leens: ok

*leens whispered*

"sadon jara7"

me: mabe akalma

leens: shagola?

me: malha khlg a7d

leens: malh khlg t7ache a7d

jara7: golelha 3tham allah ajrha

leens: ajerna w ajrek

jara7: inzain s2leha menu 3rf men ahlha?

leens: omha , ekhtha w murt okhuha sara

me: laaa leena *and i smiled :) *

leens: madry sa'alny :s

jara7: ok yalla ana barou7 bye

leens: bye

leens: 7aram :(

me: huff whatever golay 7g rose abe cornflakes yu3ana

leens: hehehe okay 7ta , ana fe nas mthlaw 3al breakfast

me: chub yalla male khlgch

leens: hahaahaha ok















.....

at 8 pm

mom came

mom: sadan

me: hmm?

mom: jara7 dag 3ley

me: shgalich b3d

mom: jra7 ydre 3n shamlan
me: ee rfeja

mom: thalny thal w kh6bach 3shan yster 3alich wayhe 9ar hal kobra many 3arfa shagol elkl ana mrbetch tarbya elkkl yt7cha 3nha men ygolon sadan al**** w ne3em feha bs entay 76etay rasch blga3

me: la7tha jara7 kha6bny??

mom: ee w btakhthena

me: la musta7el yuma musta7el mabe

mom: btakhthena w qa9ben 3alich

me: etha oboy sa'alny bagola la

mom: w ana agola ee

me: w bysm3 klamy

mom: w agola bentk fshltna w agola kelshay 3anich , sadan elbnt som3a

me; eee adre bs mala da3y atzwaj wa7ed mawa6na b3eshat alah w ana mu awal wala akher w7da aklm

mom: sadan khalaa9 btakhthena w relich fog rasch 3ndch kalam thany khleh 7g nafsch a9lan ana madry shlun ga3d tnaqsheny bhal mwtho3 elmfroth t7trmen nfsch w tshkren rbch fe wa7d ydre 3an ely tswena w rathy fech

i cried

mom: mar7 ynf3onch haldmo3 ana qrart w btzwjena

me: mom please no ..

and she left the room

i was broken

"i was crying so hard that i faked a faint
3shan ome tkhaf w tetradad

they called the ambulance
and when I'm in the hospital i opened my eyes and tears fell from my eyes

me: yuma please

mom: 7mdelah 3alsalama
me: mama please
please...
please..." 











that didn't happen.

i was telling this leens bs she said mara7 ynfa3
so skat w rthet blwaqe3

things doesn't go the way we wish,
life isn't fair
sometimes life shock us with things we didn't expect 

but we should accept and move on..


days passed
w i got married to jara7

and i told him that i hate him so much
and he didnt care at all and he said youre gonna love me soon ...






and i'm pregnant now with a baby boy

i'm gonna call him "shamlan"








jara7 was sleeping


but i couldn't sleep



" its been along time i didn't see you or even talked to you
i miss you
i miss your voice
i miss your smile
i miss your stupid conversations
i miss talking to you
i miss how happy i was with you
i need you next to me
i want you back
im nothing without you

i'm lost
i'm lonely 
i cant find my way back home

i love you
i love you more than i did before

no one can take your place
its getting harder each day  

i'm thinking about you all the time
every-time i close my eyes

i remember the old days
i want you to hug me and tell me:

'everything is alright'

well i tried to live without you
but tears fall from my eyes
yes i cant

i'm alone inside
i can only hear your voice ringing through the noise

i feel empty
i never wanted to lose you

if i can do anything i will choose you to stay
you're the one that i hold on to

i cant let it go
i wish i was there with you to tell you

please stay , don't go fight to the end
i wish its just a dream

but i cant change a thing
its killing me

i'm dying but nobody can feel it
im in pain when youre away 

i'm losing my mind waiting and waiting
for you to be mine

but i promise i will never forget you"


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this end is true without adding anything
and this is sadan's sad ending

thank you guys for supporting me
i appreciate that

i promise im gonna write another blog soon
and i hope you liked it xox

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@thereisnochance
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