The final chapter ... part 2

the next night i was about to sleep

crying

mom dkhalat 3aley

she came and hugged me

mom: sadan 7bebty

i hugged her so tight

me: yuma adre eny 6e7t men 3ainch w adre eny swait shay ghala6 walla adre t7saft bs shasawey wala magdrt yuma a7b shamlan w matwq3t byoum ena ra7 ymot

mom: shkentay 7a6a ib-balich

me: glt btzwj shamlan w happy ending

mom: sadan mu kelshay t7lmen feh y9er hathy el7yah t9dmna bashya'a mantwq3 t9er w wayed 9dmteny 3umre matwq3t ench btklmen knt wathqa fech w 7sbtch gad eltheqa mag9rna 3alech bshay bs shaswe magdr aswelich shay entay menhara


i started crying


my mom kissed my forehead and told me

mom: sadan yala namay

me: okay t9b7en 3ala khair

mom: wentay men ahlah

i started talking to my self saying:

" i wish i didn't know him"

"lish ga3d y9er feny chthy?"

"a7bah walla i do"

"im dying ... i wish mat3lgt feh hal kethr"

till i fell asleep




the next day i woke-up finding leens on my bed playing with my ipad

me:leenaah? 

leens: good morning

i smiled

me: sa3a cham?

leens: 10 , yala gomay ghaslay ahalich yn6ronch 3shan ntryg

me: okay


i went to the bathroom washed my face
then nzalt t7t with leens


i didn't eat anything just drank my orange juice

dad: sadan 7bebty lazem taklen mu zain 3alich

me: yuba mu yu3ana kelish male khelg shay

dad: 3ayal mentay ray7a elzwara elyoum

me: la

faisal: sadon mnu hathy rfejtich awal mara asm3 feha

me: mat3rfha

faisal: mentay ray7a 3zaha?

me: inshallah

faisal: men benta?

me: uf shfek tsa'al wayed khala9 3ad

faisal; glna rfejtich matat bs latnfsen 3alena bs sa'altich

me: way3 waay3

i went to my room
 and
leenah followed me


ma abe a7d y7acheny jad male khlg shay


i was so close with shamlan he was everything to me
losing person i cant spend a day without
isn't easy to forget , it was so hard to me
i don't think fe shay by9dmny akthr men motat shamlan

he promised me to teach me how to drive a car..

now hes gone.

i told leens to sleep at my house hal ayam to get better


when i was in the room with leenah

someone called me

leens picked it up

leens: alo?

someone: alo wen sadan?

leens; kahy mnu agolha

someone: her cousin jara7

leens: ok

*leens whispered*

"sadon jara7"

me: mabe akalma

leens: shagola?

me: malha khlg a7d

leens: malh khlg t7ache a7d

jara7: golelha 3tham allah ajrha

leens: ajerna w ajrek

jara7: inzain s2leha menu 3rf men ahlha?

leens: omha , ekhtha w murt okhuha sara

me: laaa leena *and i smiled :) *

leens: madry sa'alny :s

jara7: ok yalla ana barou7 bye

leens: bye

leens: 7aram :(

me: huff whatever golay 7g rose abe cornflakes yu3ana

leens: hehehe okay 7ta , ana fe nas mthlaw 3al breakfast

me: chub yalla male khlgch

leens: hahaahaha ok















.....

at 8 pm

mom came

mom: sadan

me: hmm?

mom: jara7 dag 3ley

me: shgalich b3d

mom: jra7 ydre 3n shamlan
me: ee rfeja

mom: thalny thal w kh6bach 3shan yster 3alich wayhe 9ar hal kobra many 3arfa shagol elkl ana mrbetch tarbya elkkl yt7cha 3nha men ygolon sadan al**** w ne3em feha bs entay 76etay rasch blga3

me: la7tha jara7 kha6bny??

mom: ee w btakhthena

me: la musta7el yuma musta7el mabe

mom: btakhthena w qa9ben 3alich

me: etha oboy sa'alny bagola la

mom: w ana agola ee

me: w bysm3 klamy

mom: w agola bentk fshltna w agola kelshay 3anich , sadan elbnt som3a

me; eee adre bs mala da3y atzwaj wa7ed mawa6na b3eshat alah w ana mu awal wala akher w7da aklm

mom: sadan khalaa9 btakhthena w relich fog rasch 3ndch kalam thany khleh 7g nafsch a9lan ana madry shlun ga3d tnaqsheny bhal mwtho3 elmfroth t7trmen nfsch w tshkren rbch fe wa7d ydre 3an ely tswena w rathy fech

i cried

mom: mar7 ynf3onch haldmo3 ana qrart w btzwjena

me: mom please no ..

and she left the room

i was broken

"i was crying so hard that i faked a faint
3shan ome tkhaf w tetradad

they called the ambulance
and when I'm in the hospital i opened my eyes and tears fell from my eyes

me: yuma please

mom: 7mdelah 3alsalama
me: mama please
please...
please..." 











that didn't happen.

i was telling this leens bs she said mara7 ynfa3
so skat w rthet blwaqe3

things doesn't go the way we wish,
life isn't fair
sometimes life shock us with things we didn't expect 

but we should accept and move on..


days passed
w i got married to jara7

and i told him that i hate him so much
and he didnt care at all and he said youre gonna love me soon ...






and i'm pregnant now with a baby boy

i'm gonna call him "shamlan"








jara7 was sleeping


but i couldn't sleep



" its been along time i didn't see you or even talked to you
i miss you
i miss your voice
i miss your smile
i miss your stupid conversations
i miss talking to you
i miss how happy i was with you
i need you next to me
i want you back
im nothing without you

i'm lost
i'm lonely 
i cant find my way back home

i love you
i love you more than i did before

no one can take your place
its getting harder each day  

i'm thinking about you all the time
every-time i close my eyes

i remember the old days
i want you to hug me and tell me:

'everything is alright'

well i tried to live without you
but tears fall from my eyes
yes i cant

i'm alone inside
i can only hear your voice ringing through the noise

i feel empty
i never wanted to lose you

if i can do anything i will choose you to stay
you're the one that i hold on to

i cant let it go
i wish i was there with you to tell you

please stay , don't go fight to the end
i wish its just a dream

but i cant change a thing
its killing me

i'm dying but nobody can feel it
im in pain when youre away 

i'm losing my mind waiting and waiting
for you to be mine

but i promise i will never forget you"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
this end is true without adding anything
and this is sadan's sad ending

thank you guys for supporting me
i appreciate that

i promise im gonna write another blog soon
and i hope you liked it xox

http://ask.fm/thereisnochance
@thereisnochance
please leave a comment xox

Final chapter ... Part 1

the day after rj3na el-bait

3ala elsa3a 8 pm


we ate dinner

and the day passed normally




the day after


i went with my family to eat lunch
at al-senobar "Lebanese restaurant  "

with my brothers 
faisal , muhamad and yusef

sara and her kids


my sister shadan and her husband
 and my parents

been along time ma6l3na with each other

we had fun 
and the best thing was

shadan: eeh yuma al7een 3aly "her husband" bro7 France one month b3den yrj3 el-kuwait 3ala 6oul ana many ray7a ma3a

mom: haw lish mentay ray7a??

shadan: yuma shfech gemtay tnsen gtlich el-doctor  galtly mu zain asafer

yousef: lish shfeech???

shadan: matdreeyy???

yousef : shfech ta7chay 3asa mashar

mom: shadaan 7ameel

yousef: 9ijj?? mabrrrok w lish ana akher wa7ed yadre

me: 7ta ana tawne adre mabrook shadan


   



we got back home






after dinner 


all of us sat together in the living room watching TV

*ring*

home's telephone was ringing 

i picked it up

me: alo

someone: wain sadan?

me: ana sadan



someone: shamlan 36ach 3oumra

me: huuuh?? muta shlun? mnu?

that person closed the phone

i closed it

but no one noticed kanaw mndmjen bl-tv

i was soo sooo shocked 

my eyes wore full of tears.

i went quickly upstairs 

i called leens

kanat 6al3a with her cousins 


me: leeno

leens: hala shfe 9outch chthy?

me: tawaa da.. dagaw 3ala telphone baitna galole shamlan mat
 
leens: NA3AM!

me: leeeen shasawe *started crying*

leens: fechay el-jaredah

me: leenah ohwa men ams mayrd 3aleh leenaa *crying*

leens: FECHAY EL-JAREEDDAAAH

me: inzain afchha w adg 3alich

leens: okay bsr3a bye


i closed the phone

went down khathet el-newspaper w r7t my room

sara ham ra7at ma3ay up bs ehya ra7at with her kids 3shan tnawemhom

i closed my room's door 

opened the newspaper 

3ala 9af7at elwafeyat

malget his name


i started laughing, laughing so hard!

i was the happiest person in the whole world

and i called leens

me: leenaaah "happy voice"

leens laughed : shnu?

me: malget esmah

leens: 7sait yswe fech prank 

me: 3shan chthy ma yrd 3ley men ams 3shan a9adeeg ambeeh lenah matdren sh9ar feny!
baghet a9arekh jedam ahaly elmushkela lish ykhly his friend madry mnu ydg 3ala telphone el-bait w jedam khwany lu es2alony

leens: whew 7ta ana met men elkhar3a yalla call him w zfe

me: hahaha okaay


i called shamlan's cellphone 


me: shamlaan way3 7araktk 7adha khaysa khalb9tny 






"entay matfhmen? shamlan mat"

me: mnuu??



" ana bader"


i laughed  


me: khala9 3aad bader 3a6ny shamlaan

bader: m6awla? agolich shamlan mat fehmay

me: fchayt 9af7at el-wafeyat malget his name  ;)

bader: fchay page 2 7adeth sayara 

closed the phone


i didn't know what to do
i'm confused 
 
i opened the second page
i knew ena mu 9ij bs khal at2akad























i saw shamlan's name!



in 7adeth sayara as what bader said

i don't know how to explain what happened to me that day

i called leens

leens: ha sh9ar ba3ad?

me: lgait esma

leens: what! men 9ijch sadan golay el9ij mu wgta tswen el-prank feny! 

me: leenah legait esm shamlan kahu 7adeth b6rej elshalehat

leens: sadan hold on bakhle my cousins yg6ony 3alich

me: leenah ... leenah.... many gadra atnafas leenah 

*tears falling from my eyes*

leens: sadon 7yaty kany yaaya n6ray

i closed the phone

and leens is on her way to me

i called shamlan's cellphone


me: alo shamlan  "crying+laughing"



bader: sadan shamlan 3a6ach 3oumra

me: kahla9 3ad bader 3a6ne shamlaan *crying*

bader: sadan ensay shamlan w delete his number and don't call again

i didn't say anything

bader: sadan i'm sorry matdren sh9ar feny lama 3rft shamlan 7sbat okhuy w etha esloby chthy le'anny mu gadr astw3b ena rfejy mat

* i cried in loud voice*

me: adre enk tchatheb 3aley

bader: sadan SHAMLAN MAT ENSY!

and here estaw3abt ena  

SHAMLAN MAAAT!!





i cried in loud voice and screamed.

sara kanat nazla ma3a fawaz le'anna maybe ynam byg3ad t7t w sma3at 9rakhy 
 w fawaz khayef w mstaghreb

fawaz: mama shfeha 3amty sadan? ga3d tabchy 7ail

sara: 7beby fawaz enzl ta7at ana bashofha

fawaz went there

sara came

sara: sadan shfech??  *shocked*

i didn't reply
just crying

sara saw  the newspaper w shafat shamlan's name on it garat w she knew everything


she hugged me

sara: 7beeebtyyy sadan latbcheen

she cried with me

sara: khala9 sadan la tbcheen

me: saraaaa .... shamlan maat 




----------with fawaz----------

fawaz: baba baba 3amty sadan  tabchy 7ail w t9arekh

ahaly kelhom khafaw
76aw the tv mute

and they heard my screaming

kelhom khtr3aw w 93adaw fog

they came to my room


mom: yuma sadan shfeech? lish tabchen sh9ayer

sara: nzlaaw maku shaay ana m3aha

dad: shfech sadan t7chay w lish sara tabchen ma3aha?

sara: 3amy rfejtha matat khala9 ana m3aha nzlaw t7at

my father and brothers nzlaw

but mom and shadan stayed.

shadan : ay rfeja? leenah?

mom and shadan shafaw the newspaper was opened  3ala el-page ely feha shamlan's car accident 

mom: maku esm bent

shadan: sadan... awh sadan 7bebty

mom hny stw3bat lama garat esm shamlan mat b7adeth

but she didn't  do anything 

leens came

that day was just like dream
i cant find the right words to explain it.

my mom sahafat his pic's w galat 7g leens to delete them and everything that reminds me bshamlan


the next night i was about to sleep

crying
mom dkhalat 3aley

she came and hugged me saying:

........